Parthemores in Poland - Latest Blog Entries

Poland on Fail Blog

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 03:19:00 +0200

In the spirit of this post: http://failblog.org/2011/10/19/epic-fail-photos-show-name-fail/, I present the banner for the local dog groomer.

It clearly states that they "style, cut, bathe."

On the subject of business names, I remember another one that stood out. The Polish word for tires is "opony," so you'd see various signs advertising these along the road. But my favorite tire franchise was called

OPONY EXPRESS

Excellent!

Jumping to conclusions

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 04:56:00 +0200

Well, it happened again today. For the second time. I say "I just moved from Poland" and people think that I said Portland.

Funny how much of a difference two letters can make...

See? Celebrities like Poland, too!

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 20:54:00 +0200

This video was put out to promote Poland's EU presidency. Everybody was interviewed by the same person, who asked "what do you associate with Poland?" Did they know their answers would wind up in an advertisement?

Some responses are more intelligent than others, but there are some beautiful shots from all over the country. Enjoy!

Bardzo zdrowy! (Very healthy!)

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 06:28:00 +0200

I don't get sick too often (knock on wood), but it is nice to know that you can run to the drugstore or supermarket and pick up medicine for a sore throat, cold, upset stomach, etc. We did not have this luxury in Poland, for a few reasons.

1. Europe in general has very few OTC medicines that are on the shelves. Usually, you have to ask the pharmacist. Adding the language barrier on to feeling miserable makes things much worse, because there is a good chance that you won't know the word for your particular malady. Example: we needed some medicine for diarrhea, but the only term we knew was the very crude one that Eric learned from his soldiers in Afghanistan. I think I said "always on the toilet" to get my point across.

2. Folk remedies are still quite popular. When I needed some drops for my swimmers ear, I struggled to explain the condition to the pharmacist. (Oddly, outer ear infections weren't covered in our Polish class.) She gave me some drops that were 90% canola oil and 10% camphor. But...it worked!

The story of the elixir also illustrates the power of folk remedies. Eric went to our local bakery/convenience store to buy some honey for a sore throat. The cashier, who knew us very well, asked him, "are you buying the honey because you are sick?" After Eric responds, she walks over to a shelf to get something she "recommends."

The bottle says: "ELIKSER CZARNEGO BZU"

(Here is small Polish-language observation: this is an elixir of something, but the "bzu" is unsearchable in the dictionary because it is so different from the root form of the word. It turned out to be Elderberry Elixir. I hope that cleared it up for you, because I had never heard of an elderberry.)

She explains that it can be mixed with tea or plain hot water and that it is "very healthy." Did it help? Maybe. Certainly didn't hurt, plus it was tasty!

So I'm open to the folk remedies now, but having a pharmacy where you can understand the labels and communicate effectively is a beautiful thing.

Know your customer

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 05:57:00 +0200

Some of these things wouldn't appeal to English-speaking customers:

"When you need a mutant and you need it fast, trust Mutant Express"

"Your best vacation starts at Krak Motel"

What? Dog groomers give dogs style.

This is a billboard for an energy drink. The Polish says "Black isn't the color, black is the power." Pretty sure someone would get upset about that in the US.

On a similar note, a few stores in Poznan sold a Spanish wine named "Curva." In Polish, "kurwa" is like the F-word. So, of course, people bought the wine for that very reason. I'm pretty sure that the German wine "Gross" won't be coming to the US any time soon.

Don't follow too close

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 00:43:00 +0200

As seen in the Netherlands...

It's just not as interesting here

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 22:35:00 +0200

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. My time here in Kansas has pretty much focused on the following things:

1. Unpacking and organizing all the stuff we haven't seen in three years

2. Continuing my thusfar unsuccessful job hunt

3. Exercising/training for triathlons

It has been nice to remember our great trips as I unpack the souvenirs. There were even a few things I forgot that we bought.

I also took some time to drive back to the midwest to visit family. It occurred to me that as was packing my cooler for the 12 hour drive, that I wasn't going to wind up in Belgium or Austria, but in Ohio.

I still owe you all some pictures. But if you have specific topics you want to hear about, please let me know!

Repeat Offenders

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 16:30:00 +0200

Looking back, parking and car-related mishaps were a reoccurring theme during our Olmsted adventure:

We drove illegally on a pedestrian-only street in Prague.

We got booted in front of our own apartment building.

The Ukrainian policeman didn’t believe that “Washington State” has the legal authority to issue a drivers license.

We risked life and limb to drive on potholed, two lane roads, congested with the terrible combination of semi trucks and reckless drivers.

But there were two episodes that really highlight the problems that start when you actually reach your destination:

When we were in Austria, we returned to the car to see the Skoda dangling in the air, being towed away because we were apparently too close to the bus stop. There were no signs saying we couldn’t park there, so this must be something that Austrians learn in driver’s ed.

(We have a great photo of the Skoda in mid-air, but I just can’t seem to find it.)

Thank goodness we saw this, because if we had arrived five minutes later, we would have no clue what happened to our car. So Eric hopped in the tow truck, and one mile and 250 Euro later, we had the Skoda back.

At least in Austria when you park illegally, they take action. Not like big, sneaky, passive-aggressive Sweden.

During our summer trip to Sweden, we apparently overstayed our welcome by about 7 minutes in one particular parking lot. There was no flyer, no notice, no flaming bag of poo on our windshield. But through the EU Big Brother magic, the sneaky Swedes were able to track us down via our vehicle registration and send us a bill. So four months later, we receive a notice in the mail from a Polish collection agency, politely informing us that we are deadbeats to the tune of 400 Swedish kroner. At least it was in Polish and not in Swedish.

So now that we are back in the US, I am shocked by how few cars are on the highways. As an added bonus, here on post there is no shortage of signs telling you where you can’t park. Plus, parking is free. And the stoplights are on the far side of the intersection, so you can actually see them without craning your neck in ostrich-like ways.

But I will miss the awesome European road signs. My favorite is this one, which says “accidents”:

As the Polandian noted, “do you really need to be reminded not to hit people?”

Back in the USA

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 02:09:00 +0200

Well, after a 5 hour drive to Warsaw, 17 hours of flying, and another 8 hours of driving, we successfully made it to Fort Leavenworth!

Daisy survived the trip OK, despite the fact that we didn't get to collect her during our six-hour layover in Frankfurt. I was initally upset about this, but I read something in the Lufthansa magazine about the Frankfurt airport's "Animal Lounge," where they keep the in-transit pets.

I like to imagine that this involved free drinks, maybe some snacks, and some comfy chairs to hang out in. Oddly, when we got to Chicago, her crate was just sitting against the wall near the oversized baggage claim.

Another humorous antecdote about our final days: We sold our Skoda to the dealership, and we were able to keep it until the very last minute. We assumed that they would just transfer the money to our bank account, since that is the payment method in Europe instead of using a check. But that wasn't the case this time -- they paid us 21,000 zloty in cash.

When you are getting ready to leave a country, the absolute last thing you want is more of the local currency. Additionally, this transaction took place after banker's hours on our last full day in Poznan. So we had to take our two fat stacks of 100s to Warsaw. Fortunately, we were able to deposit it before we left, so we didn't have to be "that guy" who tries to clear customs with excess cash.

So we move into our new place tomorrow. It's good to be back, but we miss Poland already.

Last Night in Poznan

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 01:13:00 +0200

We're driving to Warsaw tomorrow, then on to Frankfurt and Chicago the next day. It was really hard to say goodbye to all the of great friends that we've made here. This is the fifth time we've moved in the last 11 years, and somehow this is the hardest.

Also, Eric is now officially a doktor! Hooray!

Only one week left

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 07:48:00 +0200

We are officially leaving this time next week. There is still a lot to be done, like Eric's dissertation defense and lots of final exams to grade.

We've been saying goodbye to all the wonderful people we've met and doing the things we wanted to do one last time. I have been taking pictures of everything. It will be sad to go, but we're both looking forward to being back where we can understand what's going on and don't have to worry about miscommunication.

I'm going to keep the blog up for a while longer and I'll get around to adding all the stuff I meant to write about but never had the time. It will be interesting to see what we miss when we're not here.

Ham-alicious!

Thu, 05 May 2011 20:54:00 +0200

Before our friends from Portugal came for a visit, they made the mistake of asking if we wanted them to bring anything.

“Yeah, how about one of those Iberian ham legs?” I asked, jokingly. I’d seen them hanging in the stores in Lisbon, and a few restaurants here have them on display, all tucked in under a dish towel.

You can imagine my surprise when they busted out a 6-kilo (13+ lb) ham leg out of their luggage. I’m sure security got a laugh out of that one.

Soon the ham leg had a new best friend:

We had a nice ham and appetizers party to spread the love. Every so often, we would carve off some slices for sandwiches, or omelets, or just for eating. The thing was seriously delicious.

Finally it was time to get the last of the meat off the bone, so we cut it down as best we could

Lucky for Daisy, this coincided with her birthday, so she got to do some nibbling for a few minutes.

While she’s no match for the honey badger, the claws do bear some resemblance.

But the time came to take it away…

We were seriously impressed that a cured ham leg could remain so tasty even while sitting on top of the fridge for three months. If you know anyone in Portugal who is willing to smuggle one through customs, we highly recommend it!

They also both have four wheels

Sun, 01 May 2011 16:20:00 +0200

As we were returning home on one of the few good Polish highways, a blonde lady in a Ferrari passed us, much like the scene from National Lampoon's Vacation. A few minutes later, we pulled off to get gas, and saw the Ferrari sitting at the neighboring pump.

Naturally, the Shell attendant was filling up that car, and was too busy admiring the car (and the driver) to pump anybody else's gas. As he and Eric were chatting about how awesome it would be to own a car like that, the attendant looks at our Skoda and says, "well, they're both red."

On a related note -- it was $7.38/gal to fill up the car yesterday. Yikes!

Traffic Distraction

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 18:09:00 +0200

There is some serious road construction going on near our apartment, which results in some terrible traffic jams. But as we're sitting in gridlock, we can snap a picture of the informational banner. Let's evaluate it, shall we?

+1 for the adorable, little, smiling, potbellied mole.

+2 for the cute coveralls -- very Euro!

-1 for the hard hat. I get the safety aspect, but workers don't seem to actually wear hard hats here.

+10 for the water utility's name: Aquanet. Just like the awesome 80's hairspray!

-100 for the construction timetable. This states the construction will continue "until the end of 2011." :(

Coming to the end

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 20:58:00 +0200

We have less than 60 days left in Poland. Now is a great time to post all those random photos that didn't make it into other posts.

So, the random collection will follow over the next few weeks. Hope you enjoy!

From a cafe in Turkey. I'm guessing they don't get many orders for Lattes or Cappucinos. "Can I get that with extra scum?"

Happy Easter!

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:25:00 +0200

Mmm...food!

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 12:09:00 +0200

Food Blog, part 1: shopping

We've had a few requests about the food here, and people are often curious about where/how we buy food, etc. So here is a quick rundown:

I buy most of our fresh food at the local open-air market that is a 10 minute walk from our apartment. I buy fruits and vegetables at the stalls, and then go to the butcher shop for meat.

I will really miss how easy and cheap it is to buy fresh, healthy food. The stuff grown in Poland (potatoes, beets, carrots, apples, pears, etc.) is ridiculously cheap. The warm weather fruits usually come from Spain and Portugal and still aren’t very expensive.

You can buy all kinds of other things there too:

Clothes

Flowers

Candies

Hats, household cleaners, eggs, honey, homemade pickles, underwear, and ladies’ suits are also available.

There are a few downsides to shopping here:

1. If it is cold in the winter, the sellers won’t show up. I used to think this was out of laziness, but then I actually ate a previously frozen apple. Gross. So in the winter, I’m forced to go to the smaller, indoor shops, which don’t have as good a selection or quality.

2. It was really intimidating the first few months. The place is like a rat maze and you are forced to actually talk to people to get what you want. Hence, we wound up with a whole kilo of spinach on our first visit.

3. I have to carry everything home. Not a big deal most days, but it can be a burden when buying a pumpkin or a 15 lb. goose.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any photos from the butcher shop, but it is great place for fresh, high quality meat. The majority is pork and sausage and cold-cuts, but they have chicken, turkey, duck, and rabbit too. Lamb is almost impossible to find, and they don’t sell steak, just ground beef and stew beef.

One of the scarier looking things is the paté, which I refer to as “meat brownie” because that’s what it looks like.

Occasionally, we shop at a hypermarket, such as Tesco, Carrefor, or Real. Much like War-Mart, these also provide an interesting cultural window.

For some reason, no one sees a reason to refrigerate eggs. I still can’t figure this out.

Comparing the aisles to American supermarkets is also interesting. Here, the frozen food and canned food sections are tiny. However, the juice aisle is impressive in its medley of offerings.

But the most impressive has to be the chip aisle. (I will give the Poles props for choosing the American terms “chips” over the British “crisps.” The Polish word is chipsy.)

Their potato chips have the craziest collection of flavors. Yes, there is boring salt, cheese, and BBQ, but they have raised the bar with choices like

Chili Con Carne

Fried Chicken

Pork Knuckle with Horseradish

Grilled Ribs

Kebob

Swahili Chengachenga (?!?)

Thai Shrimp

Some sort of Greek Thing

Eric once bought some called “Taste of Africa.” What is Africa supposed to taste like? Zebra?

I should also note that due to the small size of our refrigerator and freezer, and because food spoils so quickly, I have to go food shopping every other day. Sometimes, that’s just tiring. So this will lead us to part 2: eating out!

Finally, our Christmas adventures...

Sun, 17 Apr 2011 17:26:00 +0200

Munich is a nice city to visit at Christmas. There are lots of decorations, a huge Christmas market, and plenty of glüwein. We got there just in time for the last day of the markets, the 24th.

In addition to buying some ornaments, we went to check out the Hofbrauhaus, the world-famous beer hall. We expected it to be closed for the holidays, but it was not only open, it was packed!

I used to think that the Hofbrauhaus was only for tourists. Not the case -- we saw several people in their finest Bavarian lederhosen, and retrieving their personalized mugs from the "mug check" area. Some of the tables had family names on signs, so clearly there are many people who spend some quality time there.

As we were enjoying our beer, I saw a guy walking towards us who was dressed quite impressively. I was just about to whisper to Eric to look at his outfit, when he sits down. At our table. Right next to Eric.

(We have since named this man "Der Dude" in homage to The Big Lebowski.)

I would have loved to get a picture of him, but it was impossible to do it surreptitiously. So I kept stealing glances at him in order to burn the image into my brain and later post it here. But, thanks to the Internet, someone else got a picture of him. I just Googled "crazy guy Hofbrauhaus" and, bingo!

The first thought that popped into my mind was "wow, this guy has killed a lot of animals." The buttons were all made out of antler slices, both on his coat and lederhosen. He had some sort of necklace made out of boars' teeth, and on the suspenders, he was covered in trinkets made from antlers. It was kind of like the "flair" from Office Space. The Three Musketeers style hat and the awesome facial hair just completed the whole package. While we were there, he busted out a snuff box made from antler, and was also showing some items to the other guys at our table, leading us to believe that he probably makes and sells this stuff. Der Dude was definitely one of the highlights of the trip.

[A big thanks to thehoghiehub.wordpress.com for salvaging our vacation memories!]

From there, it was on to Ljubljana, via a scenic, snowy train ride through Austria.

Many other Olmsteders have raved about Ljubljana, which we can understand now. It isn't a very big place, but the buildings that line the river are quite picturesque, and there is the requisite castle perched on a cliff, looming over the city.

We discovered that Slovenians must really like being outside. Even the day after Christmas, with below freezing temperatures, there were people sitting at outdoor cafes. And in the evening, the whole place turned into a giant outdoor party. We were amazed at how many people were out enjoying their hot wine and horse burgers. (Yes, they really eat horse in Slovenia.)

A much shorter train ride took us to our next stop, Zagreb, Croatia.

Zagreb had a bunch of beautiful buildings, and people were still out enjoying the sunshine and the post-Christmas atmosphere. We went to an outstanding restaurant where the menu was simply whatever the chef could whip up from the freshest ingredients available at the market. The whole meal was fabulous!

But the part of Zagreb that is truly burned into my brain would have to be the 4 am emergency alarm. It is quite frightening to be awakened from a sound sleep by an ear-splitting siren and a robot voice speaking Croatian. It also didn't help that the Croatian word for "attention" sounds very similar to the Polish word for "fire." The announcement then went on in English, German, and Italian. Fortunately, there was no real emergency, but the management wasn't able to turn off the alarm, since it has multiple safety switches. So we didn't sleep for the next two hours as we listened to the endless loop of sirens and instructions.

The last leg of our journey required a plane ride to Berlin, a train to the train station, the fast train to Poznan, and (finally) the bus back home.

We spent our New Year's here in Poznan, enjoying the fireworks from our balcony, and trying to reassure Daisy that the world was not coming to an end.

And due to the work load with school and Eric’s dissertation, our jet-set lifestyle has ground to a halt. But we’ve got a few more things to blog about, so stay tuned!

A weekend in Russia

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 12:03:00 +0100

We had a nice little getaway to St. Petersburg over the November 11 weekend, which we had off for Polish Independence day. This was our first time flying out of Berlin, which should be 3.5 hours from here. (Construction tacks another hour and a half onto that trip…) I hope you all appreciate the irony of driving to Germany to fly to Russia on Polish Independence Day.

Since I have been stricken with a serious case of “blog apathy,” I’m going to present the relative levels of awesomeness of our trip.

Not so awesome: Visa process

Russia is one of the more difficult countries to get to. You need an invitation, plenty of cash, and to complete a very thorough questionnaire. “Have you ever been in an armed conflict?” was one of the actual questions. Since we both answered, “yes,” we figured it wasn’t going to happen. But in the end, everything worked out and they took our money.

Awesome: Having someone to stay with

The Kasers, who are fellow Olmsteders, were gracious enough to put us up for a few days. Before we even got there, they were a huge help with the visa process. During our visit they gave us the scoop on the best places to visit and the best souvenir places, since we were on a short timeline.

Ironic, but not awesome: Paying for the bathroom when it’s free

After we arrived at the airport, we made a quick pitstop and found the men’s room being cleaned. The cleaning lady let Eric in, and as he was leaving, she held out her hand to ask for a “donation to the Christmas fund.” Our friends found this funny, as this is apparently the only free bathroom in the entire city. Does anyone know what Russian cleaning ladies and Ukrainian policemen have in common?

Awesome: Church on Spilled Blood

This is all mosaic work. The entire inside is covered in the “baseball cards” of saints.

When so much awesome dilutes the awesomeness: The Hermitage

Even empty, the rooms would be amazing enough. Then fill them with multiple pieces of priceless art from some of history’s greatest artists and it becomes overwhelming.

First room: “Wow, check that out!” [gaze at all the treasures for several minutes]

Twentieth room: “Still lots of cool stuff here.” [shuffling onwards]

One-hundredth room: “More cool stuff. Want to get a cup of coffee?”

I should note that we didn’t see everything. Or even a majority.

My favorite was the huge, gold, animatronic peacock clock. Here’s a cool video of it in action:

Oh, and the whole building looks really neat at night too.

Funny, but not so awesome: Losing your belt at the security checkpoint

As we were going through security on our way home, Eric’s belt mysteriously disappeared as it went through the x-ray machine. Rather than argue with Russian security guards and ask them to go fishing through their machine, we figured this was a small price for not having any issues at security, customs, or passport control.

Overall, St. Petersburg is an amazingly cool city and there is a ton of stuff to do and see. This is one of the few cities that we would definitely return to, since you can’t do everything in just a few days. Thanks again to Josh and Nikki for being great hosts!

And as a great finale to our trip, we were able to witness Poland’s most recent accomplishment: The Giant Jesus in Świebodzin!

(photo from Wikipedia)

At 33 meters tall, it is bigger than the one in Rio! When it is lit up at night, it is visible from the highway and looks like it is hovering over the small village.

(Buckeye fans, please note that this isn't a good candidate for the O-H-I-O. Not like that Jesus statue on I-75, which suffered that unfortunate lightning mishap.)

Up next: the Christmas trip!

When accidentally winding up in Slovakia is the least exciting part of the trip...

Wed, 22 Dec 2010 15:16:00 +0100

For our last major summer trip, we met my parents in Kraków and embarked on our most adventurous journey yet: Ukraine! Mom’s family came from the Lviv area, and left during World War II. This is the first time anyone in their immediate family has gone back and we were all very interested to see what things in the country are like.

Before crossing the border, we made a few stops throughout southeastern Poland. Zakopane is the mountain resort town that is insanely popular in the winter. Even in early September, there was already snow in the mountains.

We wanted to go on the Dunajec raft ride, where you float down the river on wooden rafts, guided by boatsmen wearing the traditional highlander outfits.

But because the river was so high and so fast, the raft ride was closed. You can see the river level in the background here:

At least it wasn’t really out of our way. But we did make a wrong turn and accidentally wound up in Slovakia.

After another wrong turn later that day, we found ourselves in the middle of a cattle drive.

This trip would not have been the same if we had flown or taken the train. Driving gave us a whole host of new experiences:

A chance to see the beautiful churches and chapels and their gorgeous shiny onion domes…

…the fun of driving through two feet of standing water, or dodging immense potholes…

…or trying to avoid all types of livestock. Just like in a video game!

Eric even got the chance to tip the nice policeman who questioned the validity of his driver’s license at a random checkpoint. We’re assuming that money went to their Christmas Party Fund. Right?

We stopped in Ivano-Frankivsk, which was a nice little town with beautiful Art Nouveau buildings and a nice main drag filled with restaurants and shops.

There is also a cool fountain that you can walk into and stand behind the water.

Our next stop was Lviv, which was chock full of lots of neat stuff, like churches,

statues,

the Lvivskie Brewery,

and botanical displays. Lviv (as well as Poznań) is one of the host cities for the Euro 2012 soccer matches.

It also had a nice square, which had the requisite restaurants and souvenir shops. If it looks a lot like a Polish city, that's because it essentially is. Or was. Historically, Lviv was part of Poland, but after WWII became part of the Soviet Union and then Ukraine. Curiously, most of the Polish population from the city was relocated to Wrocław, which prior to WWII was the German city Breslau.

The highlight of the trip had to be the visit to Zadviria, where my mom’s grandfather grew up. Some of his descendants still live there and they were gracious enough to have us over for Sunday dinner.

Communicating wasn’t much of a problem; Mom remembered a lot of the Ukrainian that she hasn’t used for a long time, and we kind of understood things due to the similarity in languages. Plus, “here, eat some more” isn’t hard to figure out in any language.

It was really neat to meet such distant relatives and getting to see what life is really like.

Overall, it was amazing experience that we won’t soon forget.