Parthemores in Poland

This past weekend we attended a conference presented by the Polish Naval Academyconcerning international politics, integration, and security.  Eric presented a paper about international cooperation from the individual to platoon level relative to coalition operations, which he experienced first-hand in Afghanistan. 

The Naval Academy is in Gdynia, on the Baltic Sea.  But only the first few hours took place at the Naval Academy; the rest was on the ferry en route to Karlskrona, Sweden.  This isn’t the Staten Island ferry…this is an overnight mini-cruise, complete with casino, spa, restaurants, and a bar.  So it was basically a boondoggle.

The circumstances of Eric’s inclusion are humorous.  His academic advisor described the conference and asked if Eric wanted to go.  Hmm… boat ride to Sweden and a tour of the naval museum sounds pretty fun.  A few days after Eric agreed, his advisor asked what he is going to write his paper about. 

Uh, paper?

So apparently when you agree to attend, you also have to submit a paper and present it.  Consequently, Eric spent the entire Easter weekend writing in order to submit it on time.  The day before it is due, he finds out the actual length and formatting requirements.  So he was forced to cut about two-thirds of it out.  Thankfully, they allowed him to write and present it in English.

The drive to Gdynia is about 5 hours, and luckily there was no traffic.  After the “opening remarks,” Eric attended a few presentations, of which he understood only about 20%.  In the meantime, the conference arranged a tour of the academy and Gdynia for the wives, which was great.  We visited their planetarium, a really cool ship simulator, and one of their training ships.  I was very glad I wore comfortable shoes, and I tried not to laugh at the lady who struggled to walk around a frigate in spike heels.

After dinner in the chow hall we boarded the ferry and found our cabin, all 8 square meters of it.  But we had a window and our own bathroom! 

The conference hosted a welcome reception in the bar, free drinks included.  Eric’s advisor had mentioned earlier that these conferences were an excuse for academics to get drunk and party.  That statement is 100% true. 

Polish people like to use educational titles.  If you have a master’s degree, you’re a “mgr” (stands for magister).  Just like the US, “dr” is doktor, but there are additional levels… “hab” for habilitatus and “prof” for profesor.  So while Eric’s nametag read “mgr Erick Parthemore” (yes, complete with spelling error), someone with the highest level of education and academic position would be “prof dr hab Kowalski.”  Eric and I theorized that it might really stand for “professionally drunk habitually.”  We enjoyed watching Poland’s intellectual elite speak about European Union politics during the day and then perform an enthusiastic rendition of YMCA on the dance floor at 2 am.  For our part, we just watched. 

The second day, after all the presentations were completed and we arrived in Sweden, we went on a bus tour of Karlskrona.  We saw a little of the town (like the brightly painted, tiny houses) and then went to the naval history museum.

The museum was pretty interesting.  They have dozens of models from their long history of shipbuilding and some displays about life on board a ship.  While our guide was briefing the group in Polish, Eric and I just walked around looking at the displays, since they were all in Swedish and English. 

After the naval museum, we stopped in the market square for about 45 minutes.  While enjoying some of the tour-guide recommended ice cream (delicious!) we noticed a lot of nice restored cars driving around and hundreds of high-school age kids dressed to the nines.  Apparently, they were having their graduation dance and for some reason everyone was congregating in the square.  It was like being surrounded by the prom. 

That night, we had dinner on the ship as it headed back to Gdynia.  Good thing traveling from Poland to Sweden got me craving Mexican food, because that’s exactly what they served.  I use the term “Mexican” loosely.  Spicy food served in an atmosphere of foam cacti, Mexican flags, and poorly played mariachi music does not equal Mexican cuisine.  Eric pointed out that the salsa verde was red. 

The next morning we disembarked and drove home. 

This little adventure has only whetted our appetites for our next trip, a 14 day cruise around Norwayat the end of the month. 

An explanation about the blog title:  In Polish, a fish swims, a river swims, and a boat swims—the verb is the same.*  So a Pole, speaking English, might say about our trip, “we will swim to Sweden” and it sounds kind of strange.  But I’m sure that pales in comparison to how badly I’m mangling their language on a daily basis.

* Do not let this fool you into thinking Polish is easy.  I could go on for hours about the difficulty of saying you are “going” somewhere.